Antarctica at a Glance

by Miles O'Neal, Jetlag, Ltd.

Nickname:          Brrrr!
Environment:       Ice, snow, absolute zero.
Languages:         penguin
Religions:         "Please, God, let me get warm!"
Countries:         none
Location:          axial South Pole
Major Feature:     white
Primary Leader:    an alien life form than can absorb you and
                   change shape at will
Toilets:           frozen solid
Motto:             Brrrr!

• was discovered by accident by Admiral Perry.
• has a statue to Admiral Perry.
• (It's really the admiral, who froze to death looking for a bush, or even a lichen, to take a leak behind.)
• has a huge population of native penguins.
  • Penguins are ruled by democratic anarchy.
  • The male penguin is dominant, at least when it comes to hiding the family eggs beneath his potbelly.
  • Penguins are deathly afraid of walruses.
  • Penguins are terrible at geography.
  • The Blue Penguin, largest of the species, can weigh up to 5,000 metric tons and consume its weight in kelp, squid, or nuclear submarines in a day.
• is the only continent never ravaged by human warfare.
• is the only continent not currently exporting controlled substances.
• is the only continent without nuclear weapons.
• is the only continent not targeted nuclear weapons.
• sounds like a pretty nice place to live
• If you're an icicle.

Copyright 1997 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.