Ain't Foolin' Around (What Went Down)

Ain't Foolin' Around (What Went Down)

21 Nov 1998
Prequel
I wasn't expecting to teach at youth tonight, but Steve was out of town (it would have been his turn to teach). So I sat down this afternoon to think and pray about it.
Lately, I've been hearing from God about being available to testify and speak at other youth groups, and one of the words I've been hearing to prepare to share about is foolishness. Now I'm practically an expert on this area (self taught, I'm sad to say), but God's been giving me His perspective on it.
So today when "foolishness" popped into my mind as tonight's topic, I started to dismiss it as Miles taking the easy way out, or just responding with what was closest to the surface. But I clearly caught the suggestion that this topic wasn't just for other groups. So I sat down to organize my thoughts.
Third Day came to mind. So I put their first CD on, and immediately realized that several of the songs fit in perfectly ^[1]. In order, even. An introductory sketch (a one minute skit, not a drawing) popped into my mind, and away we went.
I also felt led to call Renee up. She graduated from youth 1 1/2 years ago; she was one of the youth who took the mantle of leadership, and we have sorely missed her!
I almost didn't call, but again the leading was clear. She agreed to dance to "Love Song" for us, and was really excited about it (she has a real gift and talent of dance). ^[2]
During-quel
For unknown reasons, we had a very small group tonight. But praise and worship went really well. While we were singing "Open the eyes of my heart, Lord...I want to be with you...I want to see you" I was just overwhelned with longing to see and be with Him. And He told me to open my eyes and look around. And I did - and I saw my brothers and sisters with His spirit in them, being transformed into His likeness. (This has happened before, but it takes me by surprise each time.)
After the junior high group went off to their class, we had only 8 youth left instead of the usual 20 - 40. The group in attendance was a big chunk of the ones we know God has been calling to lead (specifically within youth, but also in school, etc). I almost threw the whole teaching out to just take them out for ice cream and sit and talk informally, to talk about leadership, and urge them on, ask why those who knew they were called weren't really doing anything. But that gentle nudge was there that He had planned it, and that I must stick with the plan. So I did.
I shared what I had seen and heard during P&W, and asked whether any of them had heard anything. Six of the eight had heard the single word, "dance", or seen a vision of dancing. Cool!
About 1/4 of the way into the thing, lethargy and insecurity had set in. Was there any point in this topic with this group? These weren't the kids who act foolish all the time! Again that gentle nudge. I stuck with the program.
About half way through, it started drifting into unplanned territory. It all hung together, but by the end, it was a whole new take on foolishness, even for me. And it all came together for this group. By the time we got to "Take My Life" (a song of rededication), where they were to listen to the song, to God, to pray and meditate, it was all making sense again. And I could see that it was making an impact. After the song and a bit of unplanned, holy silence, I talked a bit more, to wrap it up, and asked whether anyone had heard anything.
We ended up with a fairly heavy confession and prayer request from one youth, and with one of our most self-sufficient youth admitting she was facing FUD ^[6] about what to do after this year (she graduates), asking for prayer about direction, to clearly hear God. So I got the youth to lead prayer for these. And afterwards, I asked again whether anyone heard anything.
One girl, who I suspect hears God clearly quite a bit, but who has always been shy about being "in the spotlight", spoke up a half dozen times throughout the night. Now, she and several others talked about being called to leadership, and where they were failing, and what they needed to do, for maybe 15 minutes. And I just sat there in awe, wanting to cry, to jump up and scream, to hug them all, to dance, to preach, wanting them to preach, all at once.
Instead we put on "Praise Song" and all worshipped God some more. And then everyone checked with their parents, and we (almost) all went out after youth for ice cream!
Postquel

One of the girls who was there has been through a really rough year. She got into Creed, ironically enough, about the time she was making her own prison. She almost left church, and wasn't talking to most of the youth leaders. Things finally started turning around maybe three months ago. But we had all seen in her the person she was to be, and God is bringing it about. She shared something she had heard from the Lord, and you could see on their faces that it hit home to everyone. She shared a riveting poem with Esther and me later. She has a way with words, especially verse. The first half could have been written three months ago when she was on the edge of the pit, the last half was a beautiful picture of salvation. No God words in it at all, either. 8^)
She thanked me for doing so much for the youth. I told her that I didn't see it as any big deal, but that if there was any debt to be repaid, it would be repaid a million times over when they did things for others. She wistfully spoke of looking forwards to doing just that - touching other lives.
It hasn't been that long since she was very self centered. I realized recently that God has given those of us who work with the youth an incredible gift - we often see these kids not as they appear to anyone else, but as God sees them, looking in from outside of time ^[3], something between who they were made to be, who they really are, who they appear to be, and who they are becoming ^[5].
Her self-centeredness was partly born out of insecurity, of course. And there's still a bit of that, but now it's an open, honest, vulnerable insecurity. It's so beautiful, and so terrifying. Just what has God entrusted us with? In my arrogance I often forget that even the smallest thing I say or do can have eternal repercussions, and that those won't all be good. God help me.
Post Script
Why am I sharing all this? It's definitely not a "look at me" thing. I've just finally learned some obediance. The point isn't me, it's God. We know how awesome He is, but I think sometimes we (I know I) forget just what He's capable of, and just what He wants to do with the little we have to offer Him in return for all He's done fior us.
And, I know it helps me when I'm having a hard time, to hear that God is at work in the lives of people I know - people I know struggle, people who have shared their faults and problems with me. It's not even that I pull the stories out when I'm down (although sometimes I do), it's just that it's become a part of me, and helps me.
For the Church is the Bible, the Word made flesh today, in very real ways. And I pray that I might be the same.
And if nothing else, I just have to share my joy!
Notes
[1] "Nothin' At All", "Love Song", "Did You Mean It",
    "Take My Life", and "Praise Song".  See
    the main page for links to lyrics.

[2] I can't hear this song without seeing Renee dance.
    She really is gifted, and watching her dance
    before the Lord is a spiritual feast for the eyes
    and the soul.  If Renee got caught up in the world,
    she could easily be Salome.  I thank God she isn't!
    I have seen her dancing before the throne of God
    in a vision.  Take that, Herod (and Satan)!

[3] Dissenters on the time issue can think of it as
    simply "has God sees it from whatever angles ^[4]
    He sees things from".

[4] I suspect He has more than three eys, so He has
    vision well beyond our mere depth perception. 8^)

[5] Jesus.  Maybe this is aprt of why it hurts so much
    when I hear unjust criticisms or see unjust treatment
    of them.  It's not that they are my youth or my kids
    (although they are 8^), but that they are also Jesus.
    I wish I could see everyone that way.  At least, part
    of me does.  Part of me is afraid of that, and part
    of me rebels - because then who would I criticize and
    mistreat?

[6] Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt (from the computing community)
[Main Talk] [Notes]
Last updated: 22 November 1998
Copyright 1998 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.
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