Mama Died

I keep hearing the Grateful dead sining, "Mama Cried", only it's "Mama Died", and we're the ones crying...

A little over two years ago, my mama died. A little over a year ago, Sharon's mama died. Last weekend, our friend Kim's mama died, the day after her grandson Matt's graduation party. She died on an airplane. On her way back to California for another grandchild's birthday. She fell asleep on the flight, and her son Bobby nudged her, and she didn't wake up again, at least in this life. For her, it was a great way to go, peacefully, in her sleep. Pretty rough on Bobby. And to a lesser extent to everyone on the plane. You can't ignore it, or pretend it isn't happening or doesn't touch you, or that you don't see and hear Bobby's grief. And to top it all off they just land the plane at the closest airport.

Can you imagine being the kid she was going to see? Birthdays will forever be bittersweet; this was a loving, sweet, giving grandma.

And her husband of 40 years. What must that be like? I have a vivid imagination, I can imagine almost anything. But I really don't want to go there...

Just before Matt left for California, he broke up with Bekah. The death of a relationship. For over a year, they'd each been the one the other depended on. And now, as with physical death, they aren't there for each other. It's obviously not the same, but it still hurts. It hurts like hell, like hell on earth.

Tonight, Bekah found out her aunt died. An aunt she was close to. I'll use Bekah's own words she posted on a myspace bulletin; I think this is a wonderful eulogy.

My Aunt died today.
She was the sweetest person.
She lived in North Carolina.
She loved driving around in her oldschool car.
She sang beautifully.
She was awesome.


I have an Aunt Margie. She's wonderful, too. And some day she'll be gone, and I'll cry, as Bekah is crying tonight. Death sucks.

As a Christian, I know that once I'm on the other side, it won't suck at all. It'll anti-suck. But being stuck here when they're gone, and there's this huge void, this gaping, festering wound, is painful beyond words. I know Sharon and Kim and I will see our Moms again. I hope Bekah will see her Aunt Margie again. I hope the pain of the death of her and Matt's relationship passes quickly.

But for now, it sucks.

Last updated: 03 June 2007

Copyright 2007 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.

Miles O'Neal <> [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514